It’s the New Year and I am full of hope and despite a lot of people say that it’s going to be a gloomy year for all of us, I just don’t find it in my heart to give up for I have faith that God will always make a way for us… This photo was taken last December 1, 2008 and it’s not every night that we could see a smiling night like this and for me it’s a symbol of hope that great things are yet to come…

Happy New Year everyone!

I do believe that everything has a purpose and God makes all things beautiful in His own perfect time.

Patience is one thing I’m not very good with but when you’re sick with lupus, everything is uncertain and there is one thing you need to learn and that is to be patient. It’s a daily struggle and somehow I am learning to accept the fact that I really have no choice but to wait on God and trust in Him completely. Somehow, I know in His own perfect time He will make all things beautiful for me…

After all the parties and yummy food during the holidays it’s time to watch what we eat once more and start eating healthy again. I feel like I gained so much weight and I feel bloated, I can’t wait to start dieting and lose the excess fat. I think I’m going to try acai berry diet and exercise more so I can achieve my goal of losing weight.

The holiday is almost over and I’m exhausted. There are just too many activities and I’m not really in the best state of health to do everything I should be doing but I am glad that I was able to at least have my share of fun and I love all the gifts that I received even the replica watches. I am filled with gratitude for all the blessings I have received.

I’m not quite sure how I could sum up my 2008 but if I could express it through photographs maybe here are some of the images I could share my 2008…

God can work in our lives in the midst of even the most difficult circumstances….

God wants us to feel that our way through life is rough and perplexing, so that we may learn thankfully to lean on Him. Therefore He takes steps to drive us out of self-confidence to trust in Himself, for the secret of the godly life is to wait on the Lord.

J.I Packer

I am currently broken. Last Wednesday, i was down again in my knees begging God for mercy. I was in so much pain and I cannot move my right leg again. My edema is worse than ever and I feel sick everyday. I am trying my best to stay calm and trust on what God can do. I do believe He is in control and He see through my pain. I’ve beeen holding back the tears, trying hard to be strong and to stay firm but the pain is just too much, it’s unbearable anymore and I just fell down on my knees and cried. I don’t want to take pity on myself but for days I’ve been trying to be as normal as I can be, doing stuff that I want to do but I guess my lupus just has its own way of reminding me I’m not normal and I cannot be the person I want to be because I am limited to do things while I am sick. It’s sad and pathetic and quite frankly, it’s annoying!

Just when I’m at the verge of breaking, I am reminded by these words…

“God never forsakes us” Hebrews 13:5

and indeed, God had never left me in my time of need and He always finds a way to help me and to uplift me. Even if my own brokenness is my own fault, God is still kind and merciful and always on my side. He is present in the midst of all circumstances and He can turn tragedy into triumph. He can even turn our darkest moment, the greatest testimony in our lives. Many bible characters have to endure a great deal but still ends up victorious. I know, I am not worthy of all the blessings but thank goodness for God’s grace because everyday I can feel His love and I know that no matter how much pain I am in right now, God will ease it somehow…